Life has a way of surprising us, sometimes more humorously than we expect. Recently, I made my comedy debut, stepping onto the stage to share a story about family, DNA surprises, and the twist of discovering who we really are. Comedy can teach us valuable lessons about connection and vulnerability, much like the way we approach feedback in leadership. For me, this experience reaffirmed a truth I’d heard years ago: “Using pretty words to explain ugly truths is exhausting.” Comedy requires honesty, just as leadership requires us to deliver feedback with clarity and purpose, but both invite us to center empathy in the message.
1. Honesty and Connection in Feedback
Comedy taught me that a message resonates best when it lands honestly. On stage, I had to share my story as it was, without cushioning the truth with “pretty words.” In leadership, this same principle applies to feedback. We often feel pressured to soften difficult messages, but this can dilute their effectiveness. In these moments, empathy is the bridge between honesty and connection. Leading with empathy doesn’t mean avoiding tough truths; it means delivering them in a way that respects the dignity of the other person, acknowledging their perspective while inviting them to grow.
Reflection: Think about a time when you had to deliver difficult feedback. Did you feel you could be both honest and empathetic? How did it affect the outcome?
2. Practicing “Backfeeding” for Growth
A method I practice and encourage is something I call “backfeeding”—creating an intentional flow of feedback from the person seeking it. When we celebrate our strengths and honestly examine our own areas of growth, we take responsibility for our journey. This involves inviting others to give feedback and opening ourselves to improvement in a supportive way. In comedy, the audience’s reaction is immediate—laughter, silence, or a few encouraging nods. In leadership, we might not get instant responses, but by being open to feedback, we build a cycle of growth and mutual understanding.
Backfeeding works in four steps:
1. Celebrate Wins: Identify areas where you feel accomplished. It sets a positive tone for feedback and centers you in self-confidence.
2. Be Transparent About Challenges: Acknowledge areas where you’re struggling, showing you’re open to feedback without defensiveness.
