When I chose discernment as my word of the year, I thought I’d unlocked a superpower—effortlessly navigating life’s complexities with clarity and ease. Instead, discernment became a year-long exercise in embracing ambiguity, setting boundaries, and learning the courage to trust myself.
One experience stands out: a friend asked to borrow money for what turned out to be a dubious investment. Torn between wanting to help and sensing something was off, I agonized over the decision. Ultimately, I said no, sparing myself financial stress and reinforcing a valuable lesson: discernment is messy. It rarely provides certainty, but it strengthens your ability to align choices with your values.
This struggle mirrors a broader challenge many of us face in leadership and personal relationships: choosing between being right and being effective. We’re often drawn to proving a point, asserting our correctness, or seeking definitive answers. We waste time on thoughts like, “I can’t believe they asked me for that much money.” We wouldn’t have to look far to find lots of people who would agree with us. Yet the cost of being “right” can be steep—undermining trust, collaboration, connection, and, worse, wasting time.
Discernment taught me that effective decision-making requires prioritizing alignment over perfection. Here are some insights I gained:
Discernment Is a Muscle, Not a Magic Wand
Clarity isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s a skill built through trial and error. Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to refine your instincts.
Values Guide Effective Decisions
When I stopped searching for the “right” answer and focused on what aligned with my values, decision-making became clearer. Ask yourself: Does this choice reflect who I want to be?
Boundaries Liberate, Not Restrict
Saying no to what drains you creates space for what truly matters. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re guideposts that focus your energy where it’s most impactful.
Pause Is a Superpower
Slowing down before reacting helps you avoid hasty decisions. Pausing allows for critical thinking and deeper connection with your intentions.
Ambiguity Is Part of the Process
Not every choice offers a clear answer. Discernment means finding peace in uncertainty and trusting you’ll figure it out as you go.
The Cost of Being Right
As we dive into Quarter 1: The Cost of Being Right, consider how prioritizing correctness may have cost you trust, collaboration, or opportunities for growth. Leadership isn’t about proving a point—it’s about building bridges and fostering environments where people thrive.
Choosing discernment over righteousness is an act of courage. It requires self-trust, empathy, and the humility to admit that being “right” isn’t always the goal. Sometimes, the most effective leaders are those willing to embrace life’s gray areas and guide others through them with patience and grace.
As you consider your intentions for 2025, ask yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to be effective?
